ADULT (Only 18+) SMS 

Text msgs are like a blow job from an amateur prostitute.....short, sweet and cheap!

Little Girl: Mom, I just found out that the boy next door has a penis like a peanut.
Mommy: U mean it's small?
Little Girl: No, it's salty.

3 Facts of Life:
Garib aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai.
Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai.
Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai.

One day the PENIS tells the balls: Tonight v r goin for a party!
The balls reply: U bloody fuckin liar, u always get inside while v r left outside!

Q: If a married woman is called Polo... The mint with a hole, then what's an unmarried woman called?
A: Center Fresh.

A man was charged with Necrophilia (having sex with a dead woman). The judge said; I havn’t seen such disgusting case in 20 years. Can you give me one good reason why you did it?
Man: I can give 3 reasons.It’ non of ur business, she was my wife and I didn’t know she was dead as she always acted like that.

Pappu meets his father in red light area. Pappu: Papa aap yahan?
Father: Bus beta ab 200-300 Rs ki cheez k liye teri maa k nakhre nahi sahe jate.

Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.

Man: Sex ho jaye?
Wife: No.
Man: Jewar le dunga.
Wife: No.
Man: Car le dunga.
Wife: No, No, No.
Beta so raha tha, bich me bola, Meri marlo, Cycle la dena.

Letter to mom by her daughter a month after her marriage: Fine here mom, but one problem... my husband keeps on fucking me all the time... while bathing, cooking, dish washing even while washing, Ironing clothes! I'm fucked up mom... Any idea to control his urges? Sorry for the SHAKY HANDWRITING.

What is a man's definition of foreplay?
Half an hour of serious begging!

A man stands nude in front of a mirror n examines himself: I wish 2 inches more & I'll b a king.
Wife sitting behind: I think 2 inches less & u’ll b a queen.

Wife bought a new transparent Bra, wore in front of her hubby.
Hubby: Issme tum bahut sexy lag rahi ho.
Wife: Pata hai ! Salesman bhi yehi keh raha tha.

Q: Why do most women sleep in the afternoon ?
A: So that they can screw the tired man all night and blame him for poor performance!!

Ladki: Tum Honeymoon k liye kahan kahan Gayi thi?
Saheli: Shimla, Kasauli, Mussoorie, Nanitaal.
Ladki: Achhaa... kya kya dekha Wahan pe?
Saheli: Sirf CEILING FAN!


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